Friday 8 March 2013

Friday, March 08, 2013 -

Spanked with a Sausage!

by Lucy Appleby
Published: Mar 08, 2013
Words: 26,340
Category: humour
Orientation: M/F
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OPENING EXTRACT
SPANKED WITH A SAUSAGE: Bored, and in an attempt to draw attention to herself at the deli counter in order to ensnare the handsome young man who works there, Natalie, provocatively dressed, blatantly leans over and steals a large pepperoni. Her suggestive remarks fail to get the reaction she had hoped for. Mayhem ensues and she is chased out of the shop. Some time later, thinking herself safe, she sits on a bench in the park where she is caught by the owner of the deli. He grabs the big stick of peperoni, upends Natalie, and spanks her bare bottom with the stick of peperoni in full view of passers-by. Things do not improve on her return home ...

ALI BONGO: Ali Bongo the self taught magician, travels to a seaside resort where he meets Mystic Mabel and has his palm read - only to find the big-bottomed woman who will come into his life is none other than Mabel herself! Using her intuition, Mabel decides to show Ali Bongo her bottom, and then asks him to spank it. He can't believe his luck! What a birthday present. The pair get along famously and Ali Bongo decides to take Mabel on as his assistant. At the evening performance, the audience enjoy the show - especially when it is discovered that Mabel has ripped the bottom out of her swimsuit. Being a professional entertainer, Ali Bongo seizes the moment - and the woman - by slippering her bare bottom on stage, and then inviting members of the audience to come and do the same.

THE BOTTOM INSPECTOR: George Gumby, Her Majesty's Inspector of Bottoms calls at Millie's house. Much to her puzzlement, Millie finds herself bending over the kitchen table - and then her knickers are taken down and her bottom is inspected and then spanked. Millie's brother watches the proceedings from his hiding place, and decides he too wants to become a bottom inspector - he tries it out, with unexpected results. Meanwhile, the Womens Institute ladies of Buttock Point are in a state of great excitement as they eagerly await the arrival of HM Bottom Inspector. But alas, Mr Gumby is stuck in a traffic jam, so the inspection is carried out by someone else! Mr Gumby has a very demanding job and his work is really quite exhausting. Read the story to learn of his other adventures.

BUNION BOTTOM: Miss Botti goes to see Dr Pike with a complaint about her bottom! She thinks there is something wrong with it as she has been experiencing a tingling sensation. Dr Pike gets to the bottom of things. He makes a diagnosis and then spanks her bottom.

A BUSINESS INVESTMENT: Much to his wife Doreen's annoyance, Joe announces his new business investment - involving twelve llamas. However, once it is explained to Doreen that the llamas are not for eating, and the investment will bring in a lot of money, she rapidly gets used to the idea and plans what she is going to buy with the profits. But little does she know that part of the deal will involve her in a bare bottom spanking with a variety of implements, followed by a sore bare-bottomed ride round the bumpy field on the back of a llama.

FISH AND CHIPS: Having conducted an unsatisfactory customer survey as to why sales are falling, Bruce, proprietor of a fish and chip shop called The Codfather, suddenly has an idea as he impulsively swats the plump behind of one of the assistants with his clipboard. In no time at all, a whole new menu with countless choices is available and business is booming as bottoms are spanked!

GRANDAD AND THE GO-KART: Herbert, or Grandad, as he prefers to be called, is causing mayhem at the Old People's Home. He plays darts instead of going to breakfast, then has to sneak into the kitchens to find a decent meal. Miss Rake, the administrator, is a frosty faced old dragon who does not approve of him. But when she tries to move an old Go-Kart he has left by the front gate, there begins and adventure for both of them, and a surprising change in their relationship.

THE HUNGRY DOG: Suzie makes a new friend - a funny looking stray dog in the park. She brings him lunch every day, and at the end of the week takes him home. The new arrival settles down wonderfully well, and Suzie has earned herself her first ever spanking - but it certainly won't be the last.

MR BEAN: Mr Bean is a keen gardener who is extremely proud of his topiary, and determined to find out who is vandalising it. He catches two young women in the act of vandalising his topiary rabbit, and deals with them by means of a tawse. But some time later - who on earth can be vandalising his lovely new topiary crocodile?

NEVER TOO OLD: Uncle Bertie is slightly bonkers, and is always getting himself into trouble with his eccentric ideas. His neighbours however have a great idea, which they know will keep him out of trouble and enable them to get the treatment they need and deserve!

THE PET SHOP: A teenager's Saturday job in a pet shop doesn't get off to the best of starts and before her day is through, the mayhem she causes finds her bare bottomed and receiving a good spanking over the knee of the local police officer!

PIG: Benjamin Grundy's tranquillity is rudely disturbed by the yells of his cleaning lady, Mrs Gusset, who claims that the pig had got out of its sty and is rampaging around in the house. Benjamin eventually captures the wayward pig, with the aid of a mop and a piece of rope. When Mrs Gusset confesses she let the pig out, Benjamin takes the strap to her bottom in the barn.

A SLICE OF PIE: Cook is delighted with her triumph of a steak and mushroom pie, having to keep tasting it 'just in case.' Unable to resist cutting, and eating, a slice of the cooked pie, she has a most ingenious idea. Consequently, there are many spanked bottoms!

THEY CAME FROM OUTER SPACE: Gemma insists she has seen aliens at the bottom of the garden. She is quite sure they are aliens because they are a blue-grey colour and have funny shaped heads like garlic bulbs. Her husband Dave doesn't believe a word of it and gives her some corrective treatment with the paddle and the cane.