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Flowers for the Wife
"Edward Anthony Gillespie - come here. Now."

Ted gulped. When Betty was pissed at him she always used his full name of Edward ... the addition of his middle name meant she was seriously pissed.

"Er, okay. I'm coming."

He put down his newspaper, got up from the sofa and headed towards the kitchen wondering what he'd done to displease her. She hadn't raised her voice, nor did she need to, because when she used that certain tone, Ted always knew she meant business... and when Betty was in one of her moods it was best not to irritate her further.

So he scurried into the kitchen, and there she was, his wife of six months, standing by the sink as the tap drip-drip-dripped into the bowl.

"Ah," he said apologetically. She had asked him twice to repair the dripping tap. Or was it three times?

"Four times I've asked you to see to the tap, and four times you promised to do so." Betty glared at him, her pretty face set into a hard stare.

"Uh, sorry. I forgot."

"You forgot? That's a pathetic excuse Edward, and you know it." Betty narrowed her eyes and looked at him speculatively. "If this marriage is going to work, things are going to change around here, Edward."

"Of course, of course," he said, with no clear idea of what she had in mind. "I'll do it straight away ... after the football." He glanced at his watch. "It's on in ten minutes."

"You'll do it right now," she said firmly, her green eyes blazing.

"But the football-"

"I don't give a damn about the football. I've been asking you to do this simple task for three weeks. So get on with it."

Ted frowned and was about to argue but thought better of it. He reached for a spanner out of one of the kitchen drawers. "Needs a new washer," he announced a couple of minutes later. "I'd best nip out and get one."

"Fine. But be quick about it. Or else," Betty added ominously.

Ted had every intention of buying a replacement washer, after the football. He couldn't miss kick off! He drove to the pub and raced inside, just in time to see the start of the match on the big screen.

"Ted! I wasn't expecting to see you here this afternoon." Ted's best mate Bill grinned, slapped him on the back, and ordered two pints from the bar.

Ted got the second round of drinks in at half time. His team continued to play brilliantly, winning 4 - 0. Ted was hoarse with shouting and ordered another two pints. "To ease our throats," he told Bill.

"Cheers, mate. I'll just give Molly a Call," said Bill. "Tell her I'm going to be another hour or so. She likes to know what I'm up to."