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The Explanation
I do a lot of travel in my business and I have grown to dislike the nicest restaurants in the world, so I am always pleased when my itinerary takes me to a city where I know someone. On one trip I looked up Bill, an old friend, and invited him to join me for dinner. He reversed the proposition and induced me to have dinner at his house. I was reluctant to go since I remembered his wife as the most unpleasant woman I ever met. Debbie's biting tongue and cruel sarcasm would have made Shakespeare's Kate seem less like a shrew and more like a gentle kitten.

I had hoped to go to a restaurant in the hope she would curb her caustic nature in the presence of strangers, but he wouldn't hear of anything but a home cooked meal for a lonely sojourner. Well, anything was better than another meal alone with sneering waiters so I accepted. Besides, I hadn't seen them in many years and maybe she mellowed.

I was welcomed enthusiastically by both of them and was pleasantly surprised to find her a totally different woman. She was warm and gracious and a darn good cook. The food, conversation and all around camaraderie made for a very pleasant meal.

Although I offered to help clean up, she chased both of us out of the kitchen and into the family room where in a few minutes she served fresh brewed coffee. Bill and I talked of old times and nearly forgotten friends till she joined us. They were a funny looking couple. She stands about 5' 2" in high heels and he's well over six feet. She sat on the sofa next to him and snuggled into his arms. Their affection for each other warmed my heart.

I was somewhat taken aback when she asked, "Well Mike, what do you think of the new me?"

How does one say, 'You were a complete bitch and now you're human'?

I didn't have to; she said it for me and added, "It's all your fault, you know."

I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, so Bill explained. "Remember your going away party?"

I admitted that it was just a blur in my memory. He laughed and said, "That doesn't surprise me. You were pretty drunk by the time I drove you home. You probably don't remember what you said either."

I shrugged and he continued. "She was her usual self that night and left the party early in a huff. I stayed till the end and volunteered to see you safely tucked in. It took two of us to load you into my car, but you woke up along the way and told me I was pretty stupid for putting up with, and I quote, 'The bitch from hell'."

I immediately started to apologize but he stopped me.