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My Dear Amelia,

I apologise for sounding so incoherent on the phone last night. When I called you, Caroline Alexander, the School Bursar, had just left me, and I felt rather disoriented, not to say confused! The whole day, in fact, had been so perplexing that I was very much in need of a sympathetic ear.

As brother and sister we have always been very close, even on intimate matters, and you have very kindly listened to my problems, personal and professional, many times over the years. In my emotional confusion I failed to appreciate that it was most inconsiderate of me to call you at 3a.m., when you would almost certainly be in bed. I do apologise, and I would also like you to convey my sincere regrets to the young lady who was with you when I called. Even if the girlish giggling that I could hear in the background indicated that your companion was not seriously inconvenienced, I accept that interrupting you was unforgivably impertinent.

Part of your superbly soothing advice was that I should write down an account of my encounter with Miss Alexander, as a means of taking stock and setting my thoughts into some semblance of order. The remainder of this letter is the result. As you suggested, dear sister, writing this account has helped me understand the course I must adopt, and I hope that my words will also help you understand the predicament I felt I was in when I called.

You will remember, I'm sure, the many times our dear departed father used to opine that the course of true lust never did run smooth. I'm starting to realise now the wisdom underlying what seemed, at the time, to be simply his off-hand jocularity. It was, without doubt, based on his own, rather rash, entanglements with various ladies rather than the experience of matters amatory that he gained during his marriage to our highly respected mother. In this regard, I have frequently wondered over the years about the role played in his busy life by the surprising number of unaccounted-for ladies who appeared at his funeral. Even though they maintained a respectful distance during the proceedings, I remember remarking at the time how colourful, even jolly, they all were.

There now follows my account of my meeting. After this, you will discover my current assessment of my position as I see it, and I suggest that you forbear reading this until you have assessed my account of the events.

---oOo---
My Meeting with Caroline Alexander - Preliminary Information

Miss Alexander had always been an exemplary employee in her role of Bursar; highly efficient, and in fact very attractive. Not that I had allowed her appearance to influence my choice of her for the post, of course, but being well dressed and friendly in manner is always an important advantage for one who is often the first member of staff seen by prospective parents when they visit us. Her academic qualifications are also beyond reproach, rather better than some of the teaching staff, in fact.