Friday, 14 February 2014

Friday, February 14, 2014 -

The Uber Brats

by DJ Black
Published: Dec 21, 2013
Words: 27,788
Category: general
Orientation: M/F
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Barton and the Uber Brat

"Dr Barton?" the voice on the other end of the phone enquired.

"Yes, hello? Who is this?" Dr Barton asked looking at his watch. He really didn't have time for this.

"I am... Smith, from Department H." There was a long pause.

"Oh one of those people." Dr Barton sat in his desk chair in resignation. This was going to take a while.

"Sorry to trouble you but we have a problem."

"Naturally. And I am Barton Acme Solutions Ltd, apparently," Dr Barton said dryly.

"Well yes," the voice became defensive. "You are when it comes to it. We do after all fund you quite well."

"You fund me for behavioural research and personnel profiling, nothing else."

"Be that as it may, we do have a problem. A girl..."

Dr Barton sat back, the last 'girl' and all that followed immediately coming to mind.

"...No one dangerous, well not really," Smith continued. "But she is rather anti-social and she has fallen in with a rather dubious group. We have picked up this little gang and we are holding them under the appropriate legislation but..."

"She is a patsy and you have nothing on her," Dr Barton finished.

"Exactly. She knows too much to just let her go and she is being rather difficult. Not the sort we can just pay off with a signature on an official secrets paper."

"Who is she?"

There was a long pause and Dr Barton could hear the nervous shuffling of papers.

"We don't actually know. As I said, she really is not a criminal and we have absolutely no record of her. She goes by the name of Uber-bitch, a kind of punk nickname."

"You don't say, and there was I thinking she had eccentric parents." Dr Barton upgraded his sarcasm impatiently. "What exactly do you want me to do?"

"Take her in for a while. See if you can persuade her to be more cooperative, you know the kind of thing."

"I do. But I rather suspect that you don't. Alright, when does she arrive? She is arriving isn't she? I mean this phone call is to tell me, not ask and you already have her in transit I'll be bound."

The man on the phone coughed.

"She will be with you shortly after midnight."

Dr Barton snorted once and put the phone down.

"Jane, we have a guest arriving in three hours," he called.

Jane Ellis appeared at once and offered him a quizzical look.

"She is called Uber-bitch." Dr Barton pursed his lips.

"One of those. How nice." Jane rolled-up her eyes.


Uber-bitch sat in the back of a nondescript black government car between two large boring 'suits'. No one had spoken throughout the whole journey; a journey that had taken them from the boring grey office block somewhere near Birmingham, to somewhere out in the sticks.

Finally, after a long drive through a tunnel of trees the car turned into a driveway. At the end was a large brick house.